Thursday, January 12, 2006

Another Random Post

Once again, I should break this up into more than one post, but I really don't feel like it.

First, I have to find a new ISP. My current one is pissing me off royally. For the last several days, our connection speed has been 9600. No, that isn't a typo. I don't know if they have some sort of problem or if they are intentionally cutting my connection speed because I have a lot of upstream traffic, but I'm all done with them. Fuck you Chain 'O Lakes.

Second, Pat Robertson is now a part of the Bob and Tom collection. Good work, asshole. Here's some useful advice for evangelicals: Back in the day, persecution meant things like have a red-hot iron rod shoved up your ass, or being boiled alive in oil, or some other means of slow, lingering death. Having the major portion of a country that, while not exactly religious, is at least sympathetic to the idea of there being a god, bent double with laughter every time you open your mouth just means you are a dumb shit. Get over yourselves. And for god's sake, stop sending this stuttering asshole money!

Third, I have got to get out of this job before I go totally fucking postal and start killing the dipshits I work with. About half the "men" in my department have been prancing around in gay-looking goatees. Why? Well, they were popular in the 1990's, which is just about right; this jerk-water place runs about 20 years behind the rest of the civilized world. But the big reason is that the CIO grew one. What a bunch of ass-lickers. Maybe it's just me, but I would burn in hell before I would imitate my boss's grooming habits. Even if I had it first, I'd shave the damn thing off just so I wouldn't look like a complete suck-up. It doesn't help that they walk around in a big pretentious-looking group, looking for all the world like a group of fags out clubbing.

Another indication that the people I work with are mostly from the shallow end of the gene pool: Today, I'm heading for the cafeteria to clog up my arteries with the total shit food this "hospital" serves up, and pass a female Rain Man using one of the public phones. Loudly. The verbal spew was flowing when I stepped off the elevator and was still going when I got back on with my lunch (two grilled cheese sandwiches and fries, if you care). I could tell the other person was trying to insert something intelligent into the flow because Rain Woman would start with the "Right, right, right, right," then launch into some gibberish, then back to "Right, right, right, right," just like Dustin Fucking Hoffman. She must have gills or something, because swear to god, she didn't even take a break to breath. Based on her dress (looked like a man in a skirt) and the body language ("I'm important, damn you!!), I'm guessing she's one of the hospital's vice presidents. My only ray of hope is that she is an Affirmative-Action hire who is Vice President of Soiled Linens and Shit-Filled Diapers. However, based on my seven years working here, it is a very, very slim ray of hope.


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