Friday, March 31, 2006

More Bridges are Burning

Today, I received the following from the Squawking Female IS Director:

Just a reminder that we are having another "lunch with IS management" today and I'm the IS manager that will be answering questions. As you may recall, this is just a time to come in and ask questions (open forum). There is no set agenda and no hidden agenda. I'll be honest with my answers.

So please join me for Pizza and Pop (yes a free lunch, sorry, the ice cream was yesterday) at noon in IS conference room #1.
I responded (again, not to SFID, but to a select group of co-workers):

Hey SFID; I have some questions [group gasps in shock and surprise]:

What exactly qualifies you for your job, other than your willingness to perform deviant sex acts on members of upper management? Do you have a degree? From where? In what? Have you ever once written code or designed a database or received a meaningful technical certification?

Please show me the memo that announced your promotion to CIO.

If said memo cannot be produced, then can you please explain what makes you think you have any business interfering with managers and employees in the IS department who do not report to you?

When employee morale is in the toilet due to significant financial take-away's, do you really think free ice cream, family pictures, or eating hot dogs while being serenaded by the CIO is going to make it all better?

What are [recently hired manager]'s qualifications for his job? I mean, other than being yet another of your bed buddies. I ask because he seems about as bad at it (the job that is; I really don't care how good he is in the sack) as you are at yours.

Is English a second language for you? This is the first GroupWise you have sent in the last few months that didn't require super-human effort to work through the bad grammar.

Is hitting the Spell Check button before you hit Send really all that hard? Are you aware of how bush-league it looks to send out a GroupWise or Word document to the entire department with spelling errors?

Do you re-read anything before you distribute it to the entire IS department? None of the rest of us are, thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster, inside your head. The half sentences you liberally sprinkle throughout your writing may make perfect sense to you , but they just leave the rest of us scratching our heads and reaching for our resumes.

Thank you for your time. I look forward to your honest, agenda-free answers.
Am I having fun yet?


Post a Comment

<< Home